Written by Mhikyla Elaine Reyes

“Great leaders are not defined by the absence of weakness, but rather by the presence of clear strengths.”

John Peter Zengler

The silent struggle of youth leaders

There is a kind of heaviness that comes with leading while young. A burden that doesn’t show up all at once. It gathers in the quiet moments after the meetings, after the applause, after the doors close and you are left alone with the weight of keeping everything together. You learn to smile even when you’re tired. You say yes even when your body is screaming no. Slowly, the things you once loved to do simply became tasks to complete mechanically.

I stepped into leadership eager, and wide-eyed, believing that if I just worked hard enough, if I showed up enough, If I gave enough, I would grow into the person people could rely on. So I did—for a while. Until I couldn’t recognize who I was anymore. It took a long time to admit to myself that I was losing the fire within that I felt made me a good leader in the first place. It took a lot of time to acknowledge the state of being burnt out and even longer to understand that experiencing that wasn’t a failure.

Hitting the wall

For many youth leaders like me, the only option was to keep pushing through what appeared to be weakness. You keep pushing yourself until the pressure becomes too much. Until the version of ourselves we’ve been performing becomes impossible to maintain.

My turning point

When I was in the middle of experiencing that bone-deep exhaustion, I didn’t tell anyone about it. Partly because I haven’t acknowledged the situation just yet and partly because I didn’t know how to even begin to describe how I was feeling. I attended my first international conference while dealing with this inner turmoil and that’s when I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

During that conference, I found myself surrounded by other youth leaders like me. They shared their advocacies with such passion and confidence. I observed how they carried themselves, how they spoke and led with clarity. I saw in them the kind of grounded presence I wanted to rediscover in myself. Finally understanding what I wanted to achieve for myself gave me the direction I needed to begin reigniting the spark within me.

Healing is not easy

The shift did not happen overnight. It started small—reading, writing, reaching out to people who cared about me not just as a leader, but as a person. Slowly, I began to feel more like myself again. Not the version of me that constantly performed but the one who could lead from a place of self-awareness. The more I got to know myself, the more fully I began to understand  how I could be better not just as a leader but as a person too.

The road to recovery has not been pleasant or easy. I’ve had to confront many uncomfortable truths and difficult realizations. There were even days when I thought about walking away from the healing process entirely. But something in me refused to continue living on autopilot. I couldn’t keep pouring from a cup that had become empty.

I began to give myself the things I had been depriving myself of for years—rest, silence, time to reflect, and permission to feel what I had been suppressing. I realized that mental wellness isn’t something you earn after you’ve done the work. It’s something you need in order to keep showing up in the first place.

Rediscovering authenticity and compassion

It’s now time to rewrite the narrative. Leadership has often been sold to us as a role of constant action—of giving, performing, pushing forward. I’ve now come to realize that the heart of true leadership does not lie in what you can accomplish but in how you choose to show up for yourself and others. It is not about having all the answers or meeting every expectation. It’s about showing up fully, in honesty, and without the mask we think we need to wear.

When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to rest, to seek help, we’re not stepping away from our leadership—we’re deepening it. We show others that they too can do the same. We begin to build a culture of care, not just productivity. In doing so, we shift leadership from performance to presence, from pressure to authenticity.

There’s a quiet kind of strength that grows when you begin to lead from within. I felt it in myself as I became more grounded, more stable, more present. I was no longer just someone with responsibilities—I became someone others could rely on, not just for tasks, but for presence. I started to feel more fulfilled not just as a leader, but as a compassionate human being.

A work in progress

Though I’m still learning, I know that I am starting to get better little by little. I am no longer running on empty, trying to prove my worth. I can now give more fully because I finally know what it means to receive rest, support, and clarity. I now know what it means to show up for others without losing myself in the process.

At the center of all meaningful leadership is the leader’s inner life. The quiet truth is that we cannot carry others well if we have abandoned ourselves along the way. The strongest leadership doesn’t come from nonstop output, but from inner alignment—peace, clarity, and purpose.

You are a priority

So if there’s one thing I can share with you, it’s this: your well-being is not separate from your leadership, it is your leadership.

Start by checking in with yourself. Rest without the feeling of guilt. Write what you haven’t had the courage to say out loud. Give yourself the care you so freely give to others. Continue to lead with a heart but this time, not just for others. Do it for yourself too. You are your greatest investment. If you consume yourself trying to be everything, you end up with nothing left to give.

In a world that constantly asks you to do more, choosing to care for your inner self is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. It is leadership.